Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Here I am again!
Sooo - I was thinking this morning while I was in the shower about guilt. Seems I dealing with a lot of guilt. More than anything else I feel that the most. I have a long list of things I feel guilty about. I don't keep my house clean enough, I don't get as much done as I need too, commissions, spending time with friends, money, mothering, my health, etc... the list literally goes on and on. As I write this I feel emotion welling up in me because I am constantly berating myself for my lack of accomplishments.
My goal needs to be how to overcome the guilt more than anything else on my list. I need to be kinder to me. If I treated and spoke to a child the way I do to myself that child would be incapacitated for fear of all sorts of failures. Intellectually I know this - my inner child is hurting. But on the outside I just keep doing it. How do I stop the cycle? It seems ridiculous knowing that I just have to "be happy". I know that is the key to it all.
I think I will start small. Make a list of things to be happy and grateful for. Maybe even make a list of things I have done right. You can always get so much more out of a person when they are happy and feeling good about themselves.
Dang - where did all of that come from? Guess I should put my male repaint on now! This is a Matt repaint, reroot, resculpt commission of an Indian man. I just love him to pieces. One of my all time favorites! He was completed this year.