Monday, May 9, 2011

Being human...

After my last post I wondered if I didn't make a mistake in airing my dirty laundry. Could it effect how people really feel about me? Could it effect how people feel about my art? My business practices?

I was pondering all of this as I was painting today. And as I was enjoying the way the colors blended together and how my doll was coming to life I realized that I am able to create this and all of my art because of how deeply I feel. Writing that down truly freed me in ways I didn't realize until now.

I feel like a new person. I am off the Prilosec as of today and I feel great. I feel amazing actually. I am caught up on all of my shipping. I have only 8 commissions in the house. And I am feeling my way through a beautiful repaint that I will share later.

Having purged myself of those feelings in writing has me going through my old doll items and purging myself of those things too. I know I can let them go and allow new things to flow to me. I am thinking about what doll I want to paint next. I know that I am on the right track!

I had a long talk this morning with my sister and we came to a realization that we are very strong people. That we have risen above and overcome more obstacles that can be imagined. I mentioned before that I felt like I had failed on every level. I know a lot of people feel that way, especially in the situation of a broken marriage. I want to say that it is okay to feel this way. But it has to be released as well. We are so very hard on ourselves... we tend to look away from all the good that we have done and only focus on the bad.

Today just think about a couple of things that you have personally done that you are proud of. That is what I am going to do. I will not be controlled by things that were often out of my control anyway. And whatever was my "fault" is me just being human. I have made mistakes but I have done some wonderful things too. And so have you.

Love Love Love! LL

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